Friday, February 6, 2009

Boy Culture

You know, girls always get the bad rap…like ALWAYS. We talk too long on the phone with our friends, we read into things that are not there, we are clingy, we hog the bathroom, we gossip, we freak out, we watch “lame” TV, take forever to get ready…get my drift? Well you know what?!?! I just described about 99.9% if the boys I know and I am sick and tired of getting the bad rap. I am sticking up the proverbial middle finger to the girl stereotype and stomping my foot down…enough!

Yes you may try to play hard with your little friends as you watch “Universal Solider” (ahem, LAME) talking a big game, but then your hard game quickly converts to a gossip fest of the latest girl you are dating and what it all means: does she really like you? will she sleep with you? Will she take heed on your advances? Sound familiar? Yeah next time you wonder go straight to the source…we won’t lie about it…trust us.

You put out the hints…“oh we should hang out” “we should do this” “we should do that” and as soon as we reciprocate or say “yeah lets” you freak the eff out that things may or may not be going too fast…sound familiar?

Bathroom…DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED. Magazine racks were invented for men. Is there something wrong with the couch that you can’t read the latest issue of Playboy there? Yes, we must blow dry and do make-up in the most crucial lighting possible but net-net we equally hog son. So go project elsewhere.

As for clingy? Really? Do we really want to go there?!?! I have dated more men than I care to count before I got married and ALL of them were clingy…like all. Maybe it is because I preferred spending time with my friends or family than be all couple like but still. ALL OF THEM DUDES. God forbid you can’t make a quick visit/dinner/movies/couch snogging/chinging when they want you to; all of a sudden there is an issue. Puh-lease.

So sorry I sound like a bitter hater but before you boys start throwing your stones, realize that you live in a glass house. Steps off soapbox.

This post is dedicated to all the ladies that truly feel me, throw your hands up at me.

6 comments:

Valley Girl said...

Rut roh. Did you have Superbowl Sunday at your house? =(

The Alleged Ringleader said...

Preach on sista! Can I get an AMEN?
They are so lame and confusing! I am currently crossing my fingers with a new boy! He actually has called, emailed, FB friended me, AND said we're gonna get together for drinks NEXT WEEKEND! Maybe he doesn't realize NEXT WEEKEND is Valentine's weekend but I HOPE to God he doesn't flake out since guys cringe around V-day...

It all began with a "we should hang out" and I was totally surprised when he actually followed up on that!

it's not a gravy train said...

Val - I think i have had one too many guys ask me for girl advice this week. Yet they say the same things my girlfriends do.

Ringleader - AMEN dude! I hope he does not backout because that is bull yo.

So@24 said...

This just made my head explode.

Not out of anger by any means, but out of confusion.

Man, it's brutal out there. It's like walking on eggshells!

it's not a gravy train said...

SO - yes, i was having a bad week last week with my guy friends and their series of complaining. You though are fabulous and don't complain about girls...too much ;)

d said...

Haha, this rant is hilarious. I love you.