Egads Cinderella, We’ve got To Get You Ready for the Ball

Okay, I know I promised tales of my honeymoon romps and whatnot but I think I have already told all three of my readers about my ventures so you could wait for a few more days for my back logged posts. We have more pressing matters to discuss, like Gravy attending her first society function as a married woman…GASP.

Tonight (la la la la la tonight) Xtian and I have been invited to attend the holiday party of a trés well-know, high-powered lawyer (think Cher’s dad in Clueless but like not crazy) at his home in the fancy pants Presidio district. Talking real estate, his house is probs one of the most baller houses in SF that makes you drool and perhaps a little green.

This holiday event is anticipated, and well attended, by many of the SF glitterati so being invited is a true honor (that and he just so happens to be insanely good friends with my husband…who is 28 mind you…but I digress). While this is not the first time I attend these types of events, this will be the first time (well second if you consider Xtians holiday party…where we were seated alongside a legendary financier who pretty much funded EVERYTHING successful on the Internets…take that pets.com) as an SF Housewife so I kinda feel like it is a big deal.

I wake up this morning in a tizzy since I have STILL to decide what I am going to wear and, of course, this is the one Friday I have to go into the office so I cannot lounge around the loft working on my laptop whilst I read up on current political events (Chechnya…chech-ne-ah) with rollers in my hair and slathered in moisturizer to get that J.Lo glow. BLASTS.

I have narrowed the costume selections down to a few options but I think if I am to make a dignified impression I need to make sure to keep the outfit classy* yet sassy. This means boobage covered (this is SF housewives not OC) but still play the sexiness a little perhaps with a little fitted dress in a jeweled toned color that plays up my Latin-ness…added bonus is that this gives Xtain that “exotic housewife” cred. HA HA. As for shoes, I think I need to go with a little bling that compliments my cute pedicure (THANKS D!)...either of the Blahnik or Wiseman variety…side note: I really do need to buy more gold shoes.

As for the various conversation I will be having as I work the room, I have prepared a few taking points that should get me throughout the night. Thanks to my nephews, Elias and Tobias, my knowledge of kid stuff should cover me with the other housewives (Kumon makes a great supplemental program to strengthen math skills, for my money CMTSJ has one of the best theater program in the South Bay, and learning Korean is the new Mandarin)…check. As for the partners, lawyers, financiers and other over-all ballers, I will have to rely on today’s WSJ, NYT, FT.com headlines and my extensive knowledge in technology to contribute good conversation. If that fails, I will wow them with my study in astrophysics…that should cover me well right?
Well wish me luck kids and I promise retelling of stories of champers falling from the heavens and velvet ropes parting like the sea.

This post is dedicated to Spanx

*Haven’t you noticed that when people say they keep it classy it is because they are tacky as hell? I am classy.